When Van Wylde’s girlfriend, Kayla Kayden, brings him home to meet her stepmom, Cherie Deville, and her step-grandmother, Van could never have imagined what would be in store for him. Determined to make a strong first impression, Van is taken aback by everyone’s sexual openness, especially Cherie’s. Brazzers porn What’s totally confusing, though, is when the big surprise awaiting everyone in the living room is the smoking hot Daya Knight, who clearly has a history with Kayla. When they take off to get reacquainted, Van is left with Cherie and the eccentric step-grandmother, who both insist on showing him a family album. A sneaky handjob from Cherie under the photo album is distracting enough for Van, but then he gets a glimpse at the pictures: Cherie’s tits and ass on full display. Before Van knows it, he’s fucking Cherie and making the kind of first impression he never could have imagined.
So i don’t know where you got that from. First of the story felt rushed. So i don’t know where you got that from. Also sex scenes need to be expanded and have more detail, describe it more, say what there bodies look like, how the’re feeling that sort of thing, The thing with her friend was kind of strange. If you’re going to write a scene like that give a reason why here friend and again describe it more, The location was also odd for it to happen, someone would have found or heard them. You really have to work on your writing. All i said was that she should describe things more, to expand some of the scenes and to have some build-up. I’m not talking about one little mistake here, for the amount of text the errors were quite prolific.anonymous readerReport 2013-05-10 17:39:21hard to follow so i read a few bits twice but in the end it was goodanonymous readerReport 2013-05-10 17:32:30Okay, so i normally don’t do this but i felt like doing it now. Cya Later:)
Thel20anonymous readerReport 2013-05-10 10:58:11I’m not going to say it was bad but i will say that you really need to start proof
